Days Away From Gio

This past Saturday, Erwin and I went to New Jersey to drop off Gio at my parents house. Gio did extremely well on the drive- he slept more than half the way, and after he woke up, he was really calm in his seat. Originally we were going to come back Sunday night, but we decided to come back Monday morning so that way Gio could warm up easily to my family and their home.

It was been a little harder than I thought it would be to have him away from me, but at the same time it makes me so happy that he’s spending time with my parents and my family in New Jersey. I know for a fact that he’s being spoiled with so much attention and so much love.

I’m actually very proud of how well he’s doing. When we were in New Jersey with him, he warmed up quickly with everyone and he stayed playful with everyone once we left. We had some minor issues when I would drop him off my sister-in-laws house, like nonstop crying, so I was concerned but there hasn’t been any problems at all. He sleeps really well, he’s been eating extremely well. I’m really proud of how he’s done, and I might just do this annually so he gets to spend that time with my parents which to me is really important.

Now, as for me, it’s just been really strange not having him with me. I miss him a lot. Having him away from me and him not being under my care has opened my eyes up to things. It’s made me realize how I care way too much about little things, while all he wants and needs is me to be there sitting on the floor just playing or running around with him. I can put cleaning aside, cooking aside, even my studies aside for a little to fulfill his wish of just having me there next to him.

Today is my first day on my own. Erwin went back to work, so I decided to jump on here and write before I start studying for me final Biology exam. He gets out a little earlier today so I’m excited to just hangout with him and watch a movie.

A Baby at 22

  As far I know, age doesn’t make you a good mother or father, but what does make you a good one is doing what it takes to make sure your child feels loved and is always making sure your child is well taken care of.
I’ve gotten the whole don’t you think you’re too young to have a baby?, ugh, poor you!, you’re expecting?!, you’re how old having a baby?. I get the constant stares, finger pointing, and whispers that I can very much hear- thanks to my blessed hearing! And yes, some of it comes from children which is fine, but a lot of it comes from adults.
I might be 22, look 17, but what does that matter? Personally, I’m very comfortable with myself, except for my moments when I feel huge haha, and I’ve never been happier. Besides all the dreams and goals I have lined up, my ultimate dream has always been to have a baby with the person I love, and I’m living that dream right now and I feel so lucky. To some of you it might be too soon, but to me it’s at a perfect time and I’m enjoying every single moment of it.
Not everyone is as lucky as me, not everyone is as comfortable, in some cases ‘stuff happens’ but those of us having our baby know how much of a blessing our angel baby is to us, so don’t try and ruin this for us. 
You say, We’re too young? We’re not ready? We have a lot more to live for? Ok. Things happen, so we’re having a baby younger than you! We might not necessarily be as financially ready as you are, but when it comes to everything else, you’re just as ready as we are. And yes, we have a lot more to live for and a lot more to accomplish, but now I have an even bigger reason to work harder and fight harder. I get to wake up to this baby everyday, feel that motivation, and study and work harder than ever thanks to him.
You see, it doesn’t matter whether you’re 15, 19, 22, 27, 30, 45, a baby is a baby and will always be a blessing. We’re all going to be lost at first. We’re all learning and experiencing the most beautiful job in the world at a different age, but that age isn’t going to determine whether some of us are better than the others.
As far as I’ve learned and seen there are a lot of moms and dads who can’t handle it, saying it’s too much and too crazy and that they just find ways to runaway from home and this is them talking about their ‘planned’ baby they had at 30. But then they turn around and point a finger at a 20 year old parent – simply pointing because they’re young and in their mind they were crazy, while in some cases they’re probably holding it down a whole lot better than they are. They might be going crazy too, but aren’t finding ways to runway. Instead they’re finding ways to constantly make their child proud, constantly finding ways to provide more and better to their baby, constantly finding ways to improve on themselves for their baby, constantly studying harder to offer more to their baby, but here are adults who think otherwise because in their books these parents are too young, too naïve, too inexperienced to understand what it’s like to have a child because that’s not how life is supposed to work, apparently. Because what do we know about having kids? Well, I’m pretty sure you didn’t know much either once you had one. 
My family is pretty much all young moms and dads, and I couldn’t be prouder of all of them. I am who I am today because of them. I couldn’t be prouder of how hardworking, dedicated, committed, but most importantly, loving they are. I wish and dream to be as good of a parent as they are.
Congratulations if your moving up high in life, getting a great career, a huge promotion. I’m genuinely happy for you, but don’t stand there judging me or pitying me because I can do the same exact thing as you, just with a baby now. I’m not here saying to you, you’re kind of old to have a baby, right?
At the end of the day, all moms and dads should have one goal and that is to love our child endlessly and unconditionally, and to face everything that is thrown our way with the best poise.
Do I wonder what it’d be like if I waited? Rarely, and at those rare moments it just doesn’t feel right. I can’t imagine not expecting my baby and anticipating his arrival. I’m more than prepared to spoil my baby boy with love. I already love my sweet angel unconditionally and my age and someone’s judgment isn’t going to determine, ever, how good of a mother I am to my baby or how much I love my baby.
Thanks.