It’s a struggle but not impossible

Today started out great until I went to check my school status- I was no longer registered for one out of my two summer courses and I was put on restrictions. For those who follow me on Twitter, you’ll see that I mentioned that I didn’t do like I would have liked in one of my courses, and well, here’s the consequence for it. Instead of taking a new class this summer, I will be repeating that class- thankfully everything is fresh in my mind and I have tons of notes that I’ll be reviewing starting tomorrow before class starts next week.

I cried, I’m a cryer lol. Not doing well in school is something I’m not really used to. For the longest time I was always an honors student and/or a top student in school, I was always advanced but I took a huge dip.

My life is different now. My life isn’t just about me now. My first priority isn’t school, it’s my family and I’m not going to change that BUT I am going to school to offer my family a good life, one they deserve. So, with that said, I am going to work 100x harder.

It was difficult for me because in class I would think about Gio, at home I’d push all studies aside and do a ton of other things, even during Gio’s naps I didn’t study. I didn’t really pick up a rhythm until it was unfortunately too late. Now I know, and lesson learned.

Erwin always offered me this and that, but I would always say no that I wanted to do this and that instead (such as give Gio dinner and a bath, take him to the park so I can study, etc.). Erwin is amazing. He helps me so much, and I need to take advantage of the help that I have.

It’s not impossible for me to succeed, for a spare moment today I was just so overwhelmed because it just felt like I failed not only myself but my family as well, and that feeling sucks. It felt like so because I’m trying to finish all my courses in a specific time period so I can officially apply to the Diagnostic Medical Sonography (DMS) program on a particular date, and for a moment it looked like I couldn’t and that I’d have to wait longer- but it looks like with extra work and study time I might be able to still do so.

BUT, even if I can’t I already came up with a plan. I still plan to finish all my study plans next spring semester, and if it’s too late to apply to the DMS program THATS OK. I can work during my break time, help my household, focus on Gio, and then apply and kick some serious ass in the program because I know that I can do it. I know that I will be great. There’s no doubt about it in my mind.

I’m really tough on myself, I’ve always been, but I’m working hard on teaching myself that things happen. Everyday is a new learning experience for me, for anyone. I finally have my balance. I finally have a peace of mind. I have the best family and every reason to be happy, so now that I’m well focused I’m only going to push forward, work harder, and show myself that it’s not impossible to be greater and better.

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